Whatever he gives one, he must give the other. the choice between leaving her husband or staying beside him, Sheikh al-Qaradawy interprets the narration as even they will stay together as husband in wife with all meanings of the matter (including intercourse!). A faithful slave is better than an idolater, though he should impress you. My husband is a convert to Islam. Living in Saudi, get married online by Philippines? However, I have not told the man I love, my husband, the news. That is hard to do when he has been unfaithful to you, and continues to break his promises. After all, love that matters for you both to stay together and lead a happy life. It sounds like your husband has gone back to his old ways because he has returned to a location of so much past sin. Nope, he wont. The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. Is it possible for you to move closer to your parents, your Muslim friends, or another location with a stronger Muslim community? My husband and I married in a Catholic Church and we have lived for 24 years. What it’s like to convert to Islam for the man you love. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. And do not marry [your daughters] to idolaters until they embrace faith. You cannot force your husband, but you can nourish your own soul. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. My husband is a Kurdish Turk, raised Muslim. Please forgive me for the delay. The results went from utterly unrelatable to downright racist. Which is pathetic to say the least. Do I have to be converted just to receive just and fair treatment? NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE OR OFFENSIVE. In the end, we had three weddings. The evidence for this is the practice of the Prophet (pbuh) and the Companions regarding those who embraced Islam in Mecca before the Hijrah and at the Conquest of Mecca. “And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. My husband is a convert to Islam. As to whether a spouse who has consented to the other's conversion is estopped from seeking relief on this ground. Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi added that in any case the woman should reject having intercourse with her (non-Muslim) Husband and after the waiting period she could choose still to wait for him or to leave him. He equally shares in changing dirty diapers, spill patrol and nipping temper tantrums in the bud. Leela a husband converted to Islam and the wife file a petition for divorce on this ground. And, when you mentioned him telling you to convert, I litterally said to myself the same thing you wrote "How will she want to convert if this is what you showed her and if this is how you treat her!!!!!". He deceived you and isn't treating you fairly, when in Islam the wife and the mother is put on a pedestal and the best of men are those who treat their wives [well]. In another verse Allah says: “Today all the good things have been made lawful to you—the food of those who were given the Book is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them—and the chaste ones from among faithful women, and chaste women of those who were given the Book before you, when you have given them their dowries, in wedlock, not in license, nor taking paramours…” (5:5). We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. And I hate it so much when so-called muslims do these kind of things without thinking. A former Muslim and mother of four was recently beaten, raped, and threatened with death for her conversion to Christianity. Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. I had no clue what's over and so I was devastated to hear it. I suggest that you reach out to your family for help. You can only warn those who fear their Lord unseen and have established prayer. Darkness brings about more darkness, and light brings about more light. Ask your husband to remind you about the natural world, hygiene, exercise and other practices that help you feel in step with your faith. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Your husband is allowed to marry more than one wife but he must treat them all the same. I told my husband that I cannot live with him if he is not a practicing Muslim. I am nervous. My husband turned into my teacher as he taught me all about Islam, fasting and the Islamic prayer. Your parents will be heartbroken, but perhaps they can reach out to your husband and positively influence him. So do you think God will actually allow that? You want to have a husband who is firm on his faith, so he can be a support to you in your vulnerable times of pregnancy, post-partum recover, and the exhausting early years of child-rearing. Because my husband converted two months into our engagement, many people - including my Muslim family - thought he was faking it. I have converted to Islam twenty years ago and I am happy that I did. Read about Islam and listen to the Quran. The only people who know the words to the Sabbath prayers by heart in my husband’s (Jewish) family are me and my sister-in-law… who also converted. In Islam the wife and mother has a special status. We are living separate lives even though we are married, In my marriage, communication always results in conflict, My mother says disturbing things and brings me down, She says her marriage to me was forced and she doesn’t want it, Drunken husband having an affair, I have no money to leave, Unmarried sisters making our lives difficult, My husband is not standing up for me against his parents, My abusive father is creating family unrest and chaos, Haram relationship when I was young, now I feel unworthy to marry a good man, Swapping school for caretaking my sick wife. What a blessing to enter into the TRUE religion of Allah, the Exalted and leaving their false and distorted religions. I do not have too much knowlege, but for you this would be a good place to start. This is not from Islam. Pour out your sorrow to Him. She could, in theory, leave the non-Muslim husband and marry a Muslim one. My husband converted to Islam and married another. Again, I am so sorry for what you went through, and I am really sorry for this bad image you might've taken about Islam. What is islam? I became closer to Allah and started wearing my hijab. He is a grown man, with deep trauma, and perhaps going separate ways will be better for both of you. He is so blessed to have such a loyal wife. Remind your husband to stick to practices that brings him closer to Allah. Only he can do that. You seem to be a very wise and righteous woman. I’m trying my best to practice Islam, but I’m also trying my best to keep my relationship with my parents. Under Islamic law, if a non-Muslim woman is married to a non-Muslim man, and she converts to Islam, the marriage is suspended until her husband converts to Islam. Dear sister, it is only natural for you to want to protect your marriage. Well-meaning relatives may try to suggest that. But if you believe in, let me say, Hinduism, it is not valid to be married with you. He became an absentee father and husband.” Family of Wajid Khan labelled their children illegitimate, asked him to remarry “Wajid’s family kept insisting that our children were illegitimate since we had not married as per Muslim law (Nikaah, which if I was to do, would mean me converting to Islam). I am his wife for many years but now, he treats me and children as a mistress. I would like to point out your husband didn't do Islam any good for be so dishonest and unfair to you and your children. If he is unwilling to, then please go by yourself. I asked God what made him change and it is really what he wanted, then I would respect it. I pray this finds you well. Does his marriage to me and my children became nothing just because he said he converted? If he spends some hours with the first wife, he should spend equal hours with the other... and so on. I lied to my family, but the truth would destroy them. Whether or not you convert, I don't think you should stay married to this man. If your first wife doesnt agree, then you arent being justice and you are hurting her. If you want to convert your Muslim friend to Christianity, you have to tell God first! It means, he can be married to a Christian or a Jew. However, the stress of a newborn can break an already troubled marriage. When one of the couple converts to Islam whilst the other is not at war with Islam, they are allowed to remain together. First off,I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. By - Swasti Chatterjee. Therefore, from the above verses, beside other verses and narrations, Muslim jurists have concluded the following rules for interfaith marriages: A Muslim man is not allowed to marry, neither permanently nor temporarily, a non-Muslim woman who is not among the followers of the books (Ahlul kitab); Christians and Jews. It's time for a Husband Tag! My father commits adultery and hates my mother, I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know, I met a beautiful girl while already engaged, so I prayed Istikhara, My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back, Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam, Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me, About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend. Viral posts on Facebook claim the actor turned politician converted to Islam and changed her name to 'Maryam Akhtar Mir' following her marriage to Kashmiri businessman and model. But this year, he told me many lies. The main verse in the holy Quran that discusses marriage of believers with non-believers says: “Do not marry idolatresses until they embrace faith. therefore in an islamic country a Judge would either divorce you after the waiting period or confirm your marriage. Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. I married to a Turkish man and I am American. Both of you have lost your connection to a strong Muslim community. I’d like to congratulate you on having been chosen by Allah for Islam and being saved from the wrath and punishment of Allah. I come in peace.. My husband and I married in a Catholic Church and we have lived for 24 years. Nicole Queen and her husband talk about mixed race marriage, converts to Islam and give you the top 10 qualities to make it … Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. For instance, if he gives one wife a present, he should give the other a present as well. Last night my husband told me he's converting to Islam, he doesn't expect me to convert, and that he'd still continue drinking alcohol, says that some Muslims drink anyway, and that any future kids would be brought up with the ability to make their own choices on religion. "Situation for converts in non-muslim countries. These 3 Opinions are valid as in (60:10) the converted woman left their non-Muslim husbands and came to Medina (ard al-Islam) to a Muslim community/country! He knows of my interest in Islam and he knows I read the Qu'ran but he does not know I said Shahadah. If you want to talk to me or if you want to ask me some questions, feel free to contact me. Your husband is likely to fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms. His family knows he converted but he drinks with them and never mentions Islamic things. At least, not fully. He is my best friend, confidant, and the father of my children. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. If the non-Muslim husband does convert, a new marriage is not needed. A point which is stated by Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi is: That if the Marriage itself is regarded as invalid in Islam they would be divorced automatically: For example a woman who married a mahram. The opinion of almost all Muslim scholars is that if the wife converts to Islam and the husband does not, they automatically enter 'iddah (waiting period) for divorce. With that being said, I doubt the way your husband is treating you has anything to do with Islam. Also i do believe that your marrige is null and void if he is now a muslim. He is not muslim and I do not know how to share the news. Then, after being married for a while, I felt that I was missing something significant in my life. You love your husband, he is a kind man, but you have found out that he has broken his promise to you. So don't judge Islam by the behavior of muslims but read about Islam so you will understand. As from a shari'a point of view her marriage is still valid but considered as made temporary inactive! I would say, your husband converted to Islam to marry you and for the society for the love he has on you and not to lose you. Beg Allah to ease this burden. I converted to Islam 14 months ago. A Muslim man is allowed to be married to a woman who is a believer of the book. Its not over ’til the Trumpet is Blown – Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 3, My husband abandoned me for the second time during pregnancy, My boyfriend abandoned me when he found out I am pregnant, I’m from a broken family so his parents won’t give their consent. He is too easily influenced by their dunya-seeking ways. It sounds like he has been trying to drown out his deep sorrow using addictions such as sex, drugs and alcohol. Muhammad Ali‘s public conversion to Islam, in 1964, was among the most defining moments of his remarkable life.The decision enraged his critics — … Convert to Islam Issues Husband not introducing Muslim convert wife to his family . Take notice how God says "fear". An other Narration mentioned by ibn al-Qayyim from 'Ali ibn Abi Talib (May Allah be pleased with him) said that she could stay with him and wait for him to convert but she shouldn't let him make possession of her (having intercourse) this was the favorite opinion of ibn al-Qayyim and ibn Tayymiya. For a converted woman who lives in a non muslim country one should take into account her situation and maybe look at some not that popular fatwas about the matter we can find that Sheikh al-Qaradawy quotes that ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziya counted 9 different opinions here just 3 of them revealed in the article: We can find that 'Omar ibn al Khatab (May Allah be pleased with him) as quoted by ibn al-Qayyim that he gave a former christian woman, which converted but didn't leave her non muslim husband (and homeland?) And whoever purifies himself only purifies himself for [the benefit of] his soul. Give him space to be himself. I really have a strong feeling your husband only converted because he wanted to marry another one so he thought "oh... Islam allows marriage multiple time so I will justify my cheating with tthat!" Reflect on the possibility that it may be better for you to be divorced, with a heart and body free to worship Allah, than to be tied to a man who is growing more and more distant from Allah. I really hope my answer helped in any way possible and I really hope you stay strong, beautiful and amazing <3, Guess Who? The reason behind it is that Muslims do not deny the preceding Abrahamic religions, but they know Islam as the most complete and the last divine religion. This actually makes a lot of sense. Dear sister, I am so sorry about the great tribulation you find yourself in. Take care sister, I wish you all the best. Which isnt okay. Literally. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. Hello, If you believe jesus to be god or son of god or any part of god than you are not of the book! You do not have to offer specific details, but you can describe that your husband is going through a hard time, and you are struggling too. Remember to pray daily and to include your Muslim friend. Your husband has lost his connection to himself, and his connection to Allah. He converted to Islam to marry me. I am a muslim, and let me tell you that he MUSNT be treating you like this no matter what you believe in, especially that you're his wife for many many years. We all need love and connection to thrive. SwastiChatterje. (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. These statements are based on an article which reports some discussion in the European Council For Fatwa and Research. Your question required much reflection and consultation. While planning my weddings I googled, “I married a Muslim.” I guess I wasn’t surprised by the results, but I was disappointed. He needs to be able to answer you! Please know that having a baby is not a magical cure that will fix your marriage. I cannot continue to live in a lodge, with all the difficulties. What can I do? Please exhaust all options before considering divorce as a last resort. Emotionally, physically, etc. One of the conditions of a muslim man marrying a second wife is for him to ASK for PERMISSION from his FIRST wife. Converted to Islam but still married to my Christian husband. And he -in case she wants to separate- advises to do a legal divorce! Right now, he is not ready to be continually exposed to them. So if the wife and leaves her husband to a Muslim country the situation will change and the former fatwas should be applied! And if a heavily laden soul calls [another] to [carry some of] its load, nothing of it will be carried, even if he should be a close relative. These are just questions that I can't seem to ask any Muslims... even though I am non Muslim..I hope you would answer me with full and total honesty as to what I believe your Quoran commands.. He already married a sister of your religion. Perhaps one day, when his faith is stronger, he can be a source of guidance for them. Please wake up in the last third of the night (even if 10 minutes before the entry of Fajr) and perform the Prayer of Need. Once again, no woman should be treated like that and Islam DOES NOT order men to marry another woman freely. But this year, he told me many lies. My parents will be upset if I don’t consider this unsuitable proposal. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. Please ensure that he has had a blood test done to ensure he has not caught any sexually-transmitted infections, which he can then pass to you. My fiance left me the very day she said she loves me! But if you believe for him to be a prophet of god than you are indeed on the right track and your marriage might be valid. The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. Her surprise turned to anger when she discovered that, without consulting her, he had also converted their children. But then God showed me the real score. People who struggle with addictions often have deep pain. As the scholars also, say if one of married couple convert to islam and the waiting period passed and the other also became muslim that their former husband/wife is the best to keep, this means their marriage is still acknowledged and they can live together as before as husband and wife. Unfortunately, you are unable to force him to change. He says his parents wouldn't approve or understand. I have high respect for all of you. He wasn't religious beforehand, so this change is sudden. My well-wishers have understood my condition and are working to resolve the issue, and I am hoping for the best”. Upon arrival, I converted to Islam and we married,” Alyona tells me. He took his Islam seriously when we first married. He's using the faith to justify his own ill intentions. Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. Are you really people of the book if the true bible doesnt exist anymore? What a strong woman you are! You are a beautiful soul <3. No other woman who has converted to Islam should suffer like me. I felt betrayed because I respected his decision to convert but not with the intention of having another wife. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. Your duty is to be a compassionate, faithful and loving wife. At this stage of his life journey, It is better for him to not be in such regular contact with his non-Muslim family, especially because his faith is so fragile. Going to church being as Islam is not wrong. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard. Something along the lines of "if he FEARS unjustice hes not allowed to get married to more than one. However, based on precaution, it is obligatory to refrain from marrying a non-Muslim woman in permanent marriage. Is this really what every non-Muslim be treated? At the same time muslims are allowed to marry people of the book! Mistreating ones wife is Not permissible in Islaam and the Prophet saws has made it clear that the Best Muslim is he that treats his wife the best. But Allah knows best, and whatever mistake I make in giving you advice is from me, and whatever is right and helpful is from Allah. I’m American, raised Irish Catholic just outside of Chicago. However, it didnt make much sense because I don't think that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) would want for women and children to become displaced as a result of the husband's conversion. And to Allah is the [final] destination.” [Qur’an 35:18]. Not only did the Prophet of Islam, when he was fifty-six, consummate his marriage with nine year old Aisha, (Sahih Muslim, 8, 3309), he also used … Share this portal with your friends and family & beloved ones. In Islam,just like other religions, you aren't allowed to hurt others. "But my resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband, making it toxic enough to destroy our relationship as husband and wife, and his ability to … You need to figure out for yourself, if this is a marriage you are willing to stay in. ... My Husband Is Muslim — This Is How It Works #life #books #lifestyle #advice #help #relationships #advice – Jesse Creates […] View Source […] Totally in love with non-Muslim man, what is the solution? He has yet to tell his family or friends in Turkey he has got married. If he had converted out of actually knowing things about Islam (true meaning behind it and true values) he wouldn't have done all that and he would be respectful. Far as I'm aware there's no rule forcing divorce on a non-muslim wife. He kept on saying he is working till midnight but the fact is that he is cheating on me.After several weeks, he shocked me with the news that he is converting to Islam. If you are a true believer of God and God only, your marriage is still valid. From what you have described of his parents and childhood, I cannot begin to imagine the amount of trauma he is carrying around. Am I wrong for divorcing my violent wife? Do you want him, in his current state, to the the father of your child? It is a great responsibility for the husband and that's why Allah says: He promised he would not have an affair or drink again, but I discovered that he has been drinking again. We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. However, it is not your duty to protect your husband from himself. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. The stereotype was revived in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, when news emerged that the wife of bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, Katherine Russell, converted to Islam … They are not separated simply due to difference of religion. There are conditions to it, the first wife's agreement is one of them. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. Those invite [others] to the Fire, but Allah invites to paradise and pardon, by His will, and He clarifies His signs for the people so that they may take admonition” (2:221), Therefore in Islam, as described in the other Abrahamic religions , it is prohibited to marry a man or a woman who does not believe in God. I had no idea if he was or not. Personally I admire Muslims in your worshipping of the Lord but I have question..do you tolerate this kind of cheating just because I am not a Muslim? As far as you converting, he cannot force you but he also shouldn't be the standard you hold for Muslims.